Author
Alex Shvartsman
http://alexshvartsman.livejournal.com/
Number of Americans Swept into Oz Rises to Unprecedented Levels
An Oz News Network Report Concerns are growing among the community over dozens of recent arrivals in Munchkin Country. A local resident, who agreed to be interviewed on condition of anonymity, described the newcomers as "overwhelmingly overconfident, overweight, and…
Chronicle of the Mender
Each day, the mender enters his workshop at noon. He sits at the workbench by the window, in the spot where the bench's wooden surface is well illuminated, yet where the harsh morning glare will not interfere with the precise nature of his craft now that the sun has reached its…
The Practical Guide to Punching Nazis
1. Act natural. You don't want to give them a reason to suspect you. When they realize the data card is missing, somber men with humorless eyes will invade the lab. They'll interrogate everyone, even the purebloods. Keep your head down and don't draw attention to yourself. As…
Parametrization of Complex Weather Patterns for Two Variables
For the first time in over two decades, it rained in the morning. "I don't think we own an umbrella," said Melanie. "But there may be an old raincoat in the closet." Pauline glanced at the wall of precipitation outside their window. "Be sensible. Rain coat or not, you're not…
Forty-Seven Dictums of Warfare
Teo followed one of his men through the vast halls of the palace, past the defaced portraits of royals and the vacant pedestals from which vases and small trinkets had already been looted. Laughter and muffled screams could be heard from some of the rooms they passed; the…
Invasive Species
Samuel Kanu took off his respirator and allowed himself a few moments to enjoy deep breaths of the clean, air-conditioned air of the lobby. He used a handkerchief to brush the yellowish fog droplets out of his hair, and looked outside through the glass door. The fog was so thick…
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Monsters
It isn't easy being green, scaly, or abominable these days. Humanity turned the tables on the apex predators of the food chain, and has been exterminating us with extreme prejudice. We're still faster and stronger than they are, but we're prone to defeat by bad judgment. Heed…
Letting Go
Her expression tells you everything even before she speaks, and your world comes undone. Then she confirms it: she tells you that her mission is a go. She is so excited, her face is radiant with possibility, and her eyes sparkle with the light of distant stars. You manage to…
Icarus Falls
My world is a pair of photographs. They stand atop a nightstand at my bedside, encased in acrylic frames. A young woman in an orange jumpsuit smiles from one of the photos. She wears a nametag, but I can't make out what it says, not even when I squint. I am pretty sure that…
Notes on the Game in Progress, Played Almost to a Draw
Dedicated to the memory of Roger Zelazny It was a great match, until the other side cheated. The planet was perfect for the championship game--lush with biomass, dominated by a single intelligent species spread far and wide across its surface. Both teams gleefully studied the…
How Earth Narrowly Escaped an Invasion From Space
Lieutenant-Admiral Whiskers stared at the ominous planet on his view screen. It was still very far away, a tiny fishbowl with an even smaller moon hanging at its side like a saucer of milk. The view grew steadily clearer as the invasion fleet approached its target. The sound of…
The Keepsake Box
For this spell, only the most powerful magic will do. The glass tubes full of air magic jingle like wind chimes as she takes them off the shelf, the iridescent gases swirling inside. Next she moves the heavy clay pots filled with earth magic and then wrangles the jug of water…
Worldbuilding
Bob shuffled into his editor's office with all the confidence of a cat venturing into a kennel. "Peter," he nodded. Peter waved him over. "Come in, come in. Have a seat." "I got your message," said Bob. "What's the bad news?" "Why do you presume it's bad news?" asked Peter.…
True Love
"This wasn't at all what I expected," said Helen of Troy. The man behind the counter nodded, an expression of professional empathy pasted onto his face. "There was no epic love, no grand romance," said Helen. No, she was Molly. Molly. But it was difficult to stop thinking of…
Things We Leave Behind
Some of my earliest memories are of books. They were everywhere in our apartment back in the Soviet Union; shelves stacked as high as the ceiling in the corridor and the living room, piles of them encroaching upon every nook and available surface like some benign infestation.…
The Miracle on Tau Prime
The investigators arrived in the morning. Father Laughlin and Father Sauer trudged through the dense, chilly fog from their shuttle to the spaceport terminal just as the twin suns of the Tau system began to paint the eastern horizon in yellow hues. "Thank Christ you're finally…
The Take
I move through the aisles slowly, with the casual gait of a bored shopper who's there to kill fifteen minutes while his spouse is trying on shoes across the street. Someone not likely to make an actual purchase and, therefore, ignored by the salespeople. I disregard the flashy…
Spidersong
We listen to the spidersong. The spiders are far away, just at the edge of our senses, whispering a haunting and beautiful melody into our minds. The grown-ups are oblivious, as always. They are having several conversations at once around the campfire, laughing and gossiping.…