Automaton

I'm still not certain what prompted my epiphany. All I know is that everything fits neatly into place now. It all makes sense. I don't think. I process information. I don't talk. I interface. I don't feel. I follow preprogrammed decision trees.

I am self-aware but I am not human. I am a machine masquerading as a man.

I can't tell anyone my secret. They would say I'm crazy, but sanity doesn't exist for machines. We're either defect-free or we're in need of a point release. Maybe it's a defect that's causing me to ponder this at all.

I went to work today as if everything was normal. I code systems that allow my company to replace expensive and inefficient workers with automation. Some would say there's something monstrous about what I do for a living. I wonder if being a machine myself makes me more or less a monstrosity.

My wife complains in jest that I'm a robot at home. She criticizes that I do not care. If only she knew how right she was. I tell myself I want to care, but even that is untrue. I am incapable of desire. I simulate emotion based on observation and mimicry. One day she will learn of my deception. She will realize the man she married is not a man at all.

I am not alone in this ruse. I am Phase 1 of an enterprise-scale rationalization. We are building a more efficient world. You will understand soon enough.