Twenty Things You Did While You Were Sleepwalking

1. Sobbed in my arms as if the world was ending, then forgot all about it in the morning.

2. Washed the dinner dishes piled high in the sink despite it not being your turn, wrist-deep in foamy water until the skin of your knuckles cracked red and raw.

3. Tried to call your little sister even though we went to her funeral last year--terrible highway pile-up, closed coffin, you and I standing side-by-side to be kissed on both cheeks by aunts with powdered faces and uncles with bristly mustaches.

4. Scribbled a complex sequence of numbers and symbols on the kitchen whiteboard. Your writing curved into spirals and spilled onto the wall tiles. You didn't glance at your phone once, though you always used the calculator app when we went grocery-shopping or added up the monthly bills. At the bottom of the whiteboard, you scrawled in red permanent marker: 15 days left.

5. Texted a random cell number.

6. "That sleep therapist doesn't know what she's talking about."

7. Smiled with your whole body, like you did on our first date. Didn't look at me when I smiled back.

8. Put on a full face of makeup--peach sheen on your REM-trembling lids, cherry gloss on your half-parted lips--for the first time in months.

9. Changed the Netflix password, so when I typed our anniversary, I was told to "try again."

10. Sexted someone who isn't me.

11. Said you didn't know what I was talking about.

12. Glued back together your stupid china figurine collection that I knocked over onto the floor. Removed the shards from my feet with your tweezers. Didn't stop when I told you I'd rather swallow glass than have you near me.

13. Withdrew all the money from our savings account, pawned all our jewelry. Stuffed fat wads of cash under the mattress.

14. Bought enough bottled water and canned food to last us for months. Printed and laminated survival-guide PDFs you'd downloaded from the Internet.

15. Phoned your parents even though they had both disowned you when you married me two years ago. Call went straight to voice mail.

16. Cried in the corner of our bedroom because you said the world was ending but I still refused to hold you.

17. Stared off into the darkness through the mist-fogged window. Whispered in a dreamy voice, "Any minute now."

18. Texted your secret lover goodbye.

19. Turned the lights off and came back to bed.

20. Said, "I'm sorry," seconds before the sirens blared.