The Doctor

"But I didn't KNOW she was an alien!"

The doctor just stared at me.

"I mean, she was perfectly human, doc. Well, except for the eyes. And the tail. And... other stuff. Ok, I knew she was alien, all right? But I'd been drinking all night and she was really hot, y'know?"

The doctor looked down at his charts.

"As drunk as I was, she could'a been an elephant. So we danced and talked and had a few more drinks and we went to my place. It was just one night, doc. She disappeared by morning. And now--this."

The doctor said, "Hmmm."

"Doc, c'mon, we're both men of the world, right? You've been around the block, right? Who hasn't had a one-night stand? Let's be real here."

The doctor said nothing.

"Talk to me, doc. Give. I'm really worried. What have I got? Is it an alien STD? Some kind of intergalactic AIDS?"

He lowered his voice. "Am I gonna die, doc?"

The doctor shook himself. "No, you're not dying."

The man sat back. "Thank God. Thank God. What a relief. But I still got this... whatever it is. What do I do about that?"

The doctor finally met his eyes. "I'd say you have about nine months to figure it out."