Hither & Yon

They Have Been at a Great Feast of Languages, and Stol'n the Scraps

by Robert BagnallAugust 1, 2017

Stop.

I know you think this is a fiction.

But this isn't.

I have written a story. But if you are reading these words, these very words, then that isn't what you have in front of you.

I know I'm not making myself clear. Let me explain. If I can. I'm not even sure where to start.

Will Shakespeare slid the e-reader into his doublet. He'd heard a noise downstairs, the creak of a hinge, hobnails on floorboard.

This was highly inconvenient.

Perhaps he ought to light a rush? How would he explain his presence there, at that hour, doing what he was, without some source of illumination?

You know how they say truth is stranger than fiction? Maybe one in a million, probably fewer, can read what you're reading. If anybody else reads this passage the chances are that what's before them is a quaint little story I wrote about Shakespeare being a time traveler. From our time, carrying with him the complete works as an e-book. A throwaway piece. A frippery. Albeit one I'm quite fond of.

I want to call it metatext, but I think the academics already have that word. But there isn't really a better term for it. Words to transmit other words. Meaning piggybacking on text. Think of it as reading between the lines writ large. You and me, we can do that. I think there may be five, six hundred of us on the planet. Possibly a thousand. No more than

Will Shakespeare considered the matter on the bottom of his shoe. One thing that never came across from the historians of Elizabethan England is the constant background stench of feces. Not just dung. There's a sweetness to dung. You can burn it, build with it, grow crops in it. It makes you feel connected to nature. He scowled at it. No, this definitely qualified as feces.

Do you get headaches? I do. I think its all part of the genetic mutation. Have you heard the theory that consciousness is a byproduct of the complexity of physical structure? The proposition that any sufficiently complex system, biological or artificial, is conscious? Thing is, they've got it the wrong way round. In reality, physical structure is a byproduct of the complexity of consciousness. You and I, we have achieved that complexity. If you want proof then consider

Shakespeare broke the red wax seal between thumb and forefinger, shaking open the parchment. He was rewarded with a spider's web of semi-legible quillwork. His heart sank. Why was Tudor script so unreadable? Something about the Earl of Southampton requesting.... Should he try to introduce block capitals to England? God knows there were enough footnotes to Shakespeare's life, would one more make a difference? Requesting what? He read on. A play"

"No shit, Sherlock," he found himself saying out loud, forgetting himself.

Southampton's messenger raised an eyebrow.

"Figure of speech," he muttered. "First citation, Will Shakespeare." Let the messenger think him mad; it was a front that could be used to explain much away.

A play. A comedy. But with a tragic end. With lovers destined never to meet. Set in a foreign land. With war and courtiers. But the hero should be a humble baker.

Shakespeare racked his brain. A baker? Which one was that?

I'm not sure whether this knowledge is a good thing. Better a pig in shit not knowing that when I'm pushed up a ramp it's to meet the humane killer, I've always thought. The truth, it's all a bit like The Matrix. Only backwards. And way weirder.

I have concealed my rallying cry, this message in a bottle, within a fiction. Only the attuned can read it. Only the attuned will understand the gravity of what faces us. We are the pathfinders for civilization. We are

"It needs to be improved," Burbidge boomed.

"Improved?"

"I do not have sufficient lines," the actor said.

A cold panic went through Will Shakespeare like an electric current. He had just copied out the whole of his Kindle edition of Hamlet, word for word, using a quill. It had taken days. And now Burbidge was asking for... rewrites?

What the hell was he meant to do?

He thought quickly. Kit Marlowe has his debts; perhaps the solution to both their problems was staring him in the face?

I don't think there's a stronger case for acting. Acting fast. The future of civilization depends on us.

The revolution starts with us. Here. Now.

You have your orders. Go to it.

About Robert Bagnall

Robert Bagnall is an English writer and sometime management consultant and property developer. He is currently in the process of moving from a doubly landlocked county to the coast to renovate a rambling Victorian house. He has had short sci-fi and crime fiction irregularly published over the last twenty years, a list of which together with his science fiction musings can be found at meschera.blogspot.co.uk. Right now he is undergoing the joyless task of hawking his (brilliant) sci-fi novel 2084 around to anybody who'll give him the time of day....

http://meschera.blogspot.co.uk/

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