Author

Don Plattner

Don Plattner is a former chemist who wrote jokes for The Onion's ClickHole website. This story was written to reflect how even in the future, the inhumanity inherent to war will find new ways to manifest. Follow him on Twitter @dehydrogenation.

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Bring Me The Head

"Bring me the severed head of a Corgolian, and I will provide nanobots that let you see the color purple." That's what our commander said the moment we reached the war-torn planet of Caratax, far from the galaxy we had called home. This was shocking. Both for the brutality of…